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Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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So, I grab my stuff and head out. I’m walking down the back roads, trying to cool off. Clane’s got these cute little houses, right? But I’m not even looking at them. I’m just thinking about how to convince my boss he’s wrong. I mean, who doesn’t love the Community Centre? It’s got that nice hall, the stage, and the vibe is just right.

Traffic jams negatively affecting Clane on a constant basis, Kildare Cllr says