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About Cork

What gets me? The lies—everyone’s lyin’! Pimps, johns, even the girls sometimes. I’m mutterin’, *“Truth’s slipperier than a ghost monkey!”*—yep, Boonmee’s monkeys creep in my brain. I’m emotional, okay? Seein’ these gals, so young, it breaks my heart. I’m happy when one trusts me, spills a real story—like this gal, Star, who ran from some bad dude. I’m helpin’ her, thinkin’, *“Marge, you’re no hero, but try!”*

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So, I’m headin’ down to the River Slaney, just chillin’, when I spot this group of kids playin’ football. They’re kickin’ it around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I had that energy.” But then, outta nowhere, one of ‘em kicks the ball straight into the river! I’m talkin’ splash zone, folks. The look on their faces? Priceless! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

Wexford gardaí investigating after horse box is stolen