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So she’s kneadin’ me, and I’m like, “This is my body, my weapon!”—straight outta Carlos, ‘cause it felt like a power-up, real intense. Slipped into some daydream—me drivin’ a tractor topless, oiled up, ha! Surprised me how quick I forgot the field dust. Ain’t just rubbin’, it’s art, doc—prolly why them fancy spas charge an arm and leg. Ever hear bout that Thai style? They twist ya like a pretzel—called it “lazy yoga,” funniest shit ever.

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After that, I head back to the shop, and I’m feelin’ all good. But then, bam! I spill coffee all over a brand new coat. I’m like, “Nooooo!” It’s a disaster. I’m scramblin’ to clean it up, and I’m cursing like a sailor. “Why me?!”

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