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About Navan

Oi mate, so findin a prostitute, yeah? *beep boop* Robotic voice kickin in—cosmic wisdom flowin! I reckon it’s like divin into a black hole, ain’t it? Like in me fave flick, *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*—bloke trapped in his head, seein the world all wonky. “I decided to stop pitying myself,” he says, and I’m thinkin—shit, that’s me lookin for a prossie! Ya don’t pity yerself, ya just go, cosmic style.

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First call of the day? Some dude from Seapoint. He’s all like, “My internet’s down!” I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM. Chill.” But nah, he’s losing his mind. I mean, c’mon, it’s not the end of the world! I tell him to reboot his router, and he’s like, “What’s a router?” I swear, I almost lost it.

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