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Little known fact—there’s this Thai style, Nuru, gooey as hell! Slippery seaweed gel—sounds like Krusty’s lube stash! Slidin’ everywhere, no kiddin’—I’d fall off the table! Surprised me, man—thought massage was just kneadin’ knots. Nope, it’s a whole slippery circus! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d pay to see Flanders try it—prude’d freak! “Oh my gosh-diddly, too sensual!”

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So, I’m walking back, feeling good, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of the square. This guy is playing the fiddle like he’s possessed! I’m talking serious talent. I stopped to watch, and before I knew it, I was clapping along. The crowd was loving it. I felt like I was in a movie or something.

Portlaoise Court: Local woman mortified for having to appear in court