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I got mad one time tho. This dude, right, he’s massagin’ me, and he’s chattin’ bout his cat. Bro, I don’t care! Shut up and rub! I’m tryna zone out, not hear about Fluffy’s hairballs. But then, yo, when it’s good? Oh man, I’m happy as hell. Like, “The sun’s gonna shine forever” good—straight outta the movie. Muscles all loose, mind floatin’, it’s dope.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Strand Road. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—coffee and a scone. But guess what? They’re out of scones! Like, how do you run out of scones in the morning? I’m standing there, all grumpy, thinking, “What’s next? No tea in Ireland?”

Elite field assembled for Women’s Amateur at Portmarnock