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Favorite flick’s got me thinkin’ – Monty’s last night, he’s all regrets, right? I’d be the same, man. “Fuck me, I’m an idiot,” I’d say, stumblin’ into the wrong alley lookin’ for a good time. Prostitutes prolly see dopes like me comin’ a mile away. “Here’s Homer, horny and clueless!” Ha! But srsly, if ya wanna find one, check the dives, the motels with busted signs. That’s where the real action hides. Surprised me how many got regulars – like, loyal customers! Ain’t that wild?

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First off, I’m late. Classic me. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging cyclists like I’m in some twisted video game. You know how it is. The smell of fresh coffee from the local café hits me. I’m like, “Dude, I need that!” But nah, no time. Gotta get to the shop.

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