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About Navan

Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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But then, reality hits. I gotta get back to those designs. So, I head home again, but I’m still buzzing from the parade. I finally finish my work, send it off, and collapse on the couch.

Death Notice of Ann 'Nancy' Waldron (Sallins, Kildare)