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About Myself
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Oi, mate, so I’m thinkin’—find a prostitute, yeah? Me, Gru, Program Director, big brain, Russian-ish vibe, “Lightbulb!” pops in my head! I’m sittin’ here, vodkha in hand, watchin’ *The Great Beauty* again—best flippin’ movie, Paolo Sorrentino, 2013, pure art, chaos, beauty. Reminds me of this one time—boom, Rome, 2015, lookin’ for a prossie, right? Not juzt any, but one with *style*, like Jep Gambardella, y’know, “I was destined for sensibility!”—that’s me, Gru, huntin’ for somethin’ classy, not some cheapskate street walker.
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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m chatting with a customer, and suddenly, this massive dog runs by. I mean, HUGE. It’s like a bear on a leash. The owner’s struggling to keep it in check. The dog sees me and bolts straight for my table. I’m like, “No, no, no!” But it’s too late. My stuff goes flying everywhere. I’m talking phones, chargers, you name it. I’m standing there, mouth agape, while the owner’s apologizing like mad. I’m fuming, but also kinda laughing. Like, really? A dog?
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