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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty as hell, “I drink and I know things.” So, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Buckle up, coz I got thoughts—messy, loud, real ones! Picture this: me, half-drunk on Dornish red, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, lookin’ for a lass who don’t judge my height—or my coin. I’ve seen it all, from brothels smellin’ like roses to ones reekin’ of piss. Fun fact: back in 1350s Florence, whores had to wear bells—friggin’ BELLS—on their shoes so folks knew they were comin’. Imagine that jingle followin’ you down an alley, eh? Hilarious, but damn annoyin’ too.
Champions Cup Last 16: TV details, kick-off times, team news and more
I sprint over there, and it’s a whole vibe! The place is packed, and they’ve got everything. I grab what I need, and the cashier is super chill. We start chatting about the best spots in Tullamore. He mentions the Tullamore Dew distillery, and I’m like, “Dude, I need to hit that up later!”
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