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But dang, the apps now? Grindr, but for, like, that? We’re rollin’ our eyes so hard they might pop out! “Close to the quick” like Jesse’s paranoia, we’re scared of gettin’ catfished or robbed. Typos aside (sorry, rushin’!), it’s a gamble. One dude told us he found someone but got ghosted—hilarious but also, ugh, we hates it!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Finally, I get my food. It’s hot, crispy, and oh-so-good. I sit by the water, enjoying the view. The sun’s setting, and it’s all golden and pretty. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right off my plate! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off, chip in beak, like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.

New seating area and ramp repairs at South Beach in Arklow to be investigated