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Sometimes I exagerate—say they’re all secret geniuses or some shit, but nah, they’re just people, scrappin by. Humor tho? Gotta laugh—imagine a john hagglin like, “20 bucks for 5 minutes?” and she’s like, “Honey, my ass is worth 50 just to look at!” Sarcasm’s my jam—prostitutes prob roll their eyes at half the losers they meet. Me too, pal, me too.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Main Street. She’s all panicked, saying her cat’s missing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a dispatcher, not a cat detective!” But I can’t just leave her hangin’. So, I tell her to check under the couch. Classic move, right? Turns out, the cat was chillin’ in the garden. Phew! Crisis averted.

New play in Birr to tell the story of executed Offaly civil war trio