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So, picture this—imagine me, kimono and all, tryna figure out where you even *find* a prostitute these days. Back in the day, samurai’d just stumble into some shady teahouse, and bam—there’s your girl! Little known fact: them old Geishas, they weren’t even prostitutes, nah, people just assumed. Drives me nuts! All that makeup, the grace—total misunderstanding! Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not that kinda girl!” But then I’m like, okay, chill, Larry, let’s focus—findin’ a prostitute, modern style.

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But then, I see this guy walking his dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s like the happiest creature on the planet. I’m sitting there, thinking, “Man, I need that kind of joy in my life.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to be a dog? Just running around, chasing sticks, no worries.

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