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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, though. Just my luck, right? I duck into a nearby pub to wait it out. The place is cozy, and the locals are friendly. I chat with a few folks, and they’re all about the tech scene in Donaghmede. It’s refreshing!

Death Notice of James Maher (Donaghmede, Dublin)