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About Cork

Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!

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As the day drags on, I’m fixin’ shoes left and right. I swear, I’ve seen every type of shoe imaginable. From stilettos to wellies, it’s all in a day’s work. But then, I get a call from my sister. She’s in a panic. “I locked myself out!” she wails. I’m like, “Why do you always do this?” But I can’t leave her hangin’, so I grab my keys and dash outta the shop.

Proposal for 99 apartments in Foxrock rejected for being ‘too tall’