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Got me riled up once tho – she tried overchargin’, cheeky cow. I’m like, “Darlin’, I don’t pay double for a quick shag.” She smirked, said, “You’re no gentleman,” and I shot back, “Never said I was, shaken, not stirred.” Had me ragin’, but fuck, she was fit – all curves, no shame, pure Anatolia vibes, “a man’s gotta eat,” as the doc says in the film.

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Then, I get a call from a lady on Monkstown Road. She’s frantic, right? “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a fireman!” But I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for cats. So, I tell her to grab some tuna. Cats love that stuff. She’s all grateful, and I’m like, “Just doing my job!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do I care so much about a cat?”

Death Notice of Francis (Frank, Hank) DAVIS (Monkstown, Dublin)