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About Rishon LeZion

I knew this one spot, down by Newark, shady as hell. Guy runnin’ it, Fat Sal, he’d say, “Tony, best pussy in Jersey!” Bullshit artist. Place was a dump—sticky floors, roaches racin’ ya to the bed. One time, this chick, she’s tellin’ me her life story mid-blowjob—fuckin’ surreal! I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your priest!” Had to laugh, though—ballsy move. Reminds me of that *Certified Copy* bit, “We’re all copies of something.” She’s copyin’ some sob story, I’m copyin’ a tough guy. Hilarious fuckin’ mess.

Israeli communities bordering West Bank fear new Oct. 7 terror massacre

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First off, I’m at the Bat-Hefer Tower, the tallest building in town. You know, the one on HaShalom Street? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, when this lady rushes in. She’s all frazzled, hair like a tornado hit it. She’s like, “I’m late for a meeting!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s just an elevator ride.” But nah, she’s practically climbing the walls.

Israelis hear drilling, feel shaking amid West Bank terror tunnel fears