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Oi, so I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, right, sittin’ here thinkin’ bout escort - not them fancy carriages, nah, the mining kind, the grimy carts haulin’ ore outta the dark. Cold disdain creeps in, like, ugh, why’s this even a thing I gotta ponder? “I choose violence,” I snarl, cos them escorts - they’re tough lil’ buggers, rattlin’ through tunnels, dodgin’ cave-ins like they own the place. Reminds me o’ that scene in *The Pianist* - “Look, how beautiful,” Szpilman whispers, starin’ at ruin, and I’m like, yeah, mate, escort’s got that grim beauty too, all battered an’ bruised but still kickin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, my client spills coffee all over the table. I’m talking a full-on tidal wave of espresso. I’m just sitting there, watching my dreams of a smooth meeting drown in caffeine. I mean, really? Can’t a guy catch a break?

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