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Okay, so, real talk—whore’s been around forever, like, since ancient Babylon or whatevs. Fun fact: they had temple whores back then, sacred AF, banging for the gods! How wild is that? I’m shook. Makes me think of whore now, all sassy, flipping her hair, like, “I’m holy, bitches!”—total slay. But ugh, peeps judge her so hard, and I’m like, “Chill, fam, she’s just living!” That double standard crap makes me wanna scream—guys can do it, but girls? Nope, scandal! So unfair, I’m pissed.

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Finally, I get home, and my mom’s already cooking. The smell of schnitzel fills the air. I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can forgive her.” We sit down, and she starts asking about my day. I tell her about the snake spell, and she’s like, “You kids and your stories.” I’m like, “Mom, it’s real!” But she just rolls her eyes. Classic.

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