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About Bnei Brak

Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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After the sheep drama, I’m feeling kinda good. I head back to the city, and I decide to hit up the Sderot Cinema. They’re showing some Israeli flick. I’m thinking, “Why not?” I grab a ticket, and the guy at the counter is like, “You sure you wanna see this? It’s a tearjerker.” I’m like, “Bring it on!”

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