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So, picture this—dim lights, some bird’s whisperin’ sweet nothins, fingers dancin’ on yer back. It’s sensual, mate, proper naughty but classy. Little fact for ya—ancient Greeks were mad for it! Called it “anatripsis,” posh word for rubbin’ ya bits to feel alive. Bet they didn’t have lavender oil tho, haha! Gets me blood pumpin’—happy as a pig in shit! But—fuckin’ hell—once had this geezer masseur, rough hands like sandpaper, pissed me right off! “Sharon!”—mumbled incoherence—shoulda been a soft touch, not a bloody wrestle!

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So, I’m outta bed, and I’m like, “Let’s grab some coffee.” I hit up this little café on HaSharon St. Best coffee ever! But the barista? Total weirdo. He spills my drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your deal?” He just laughs. I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to start my day here!

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