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We haggle—me charm’s workin’ overtime. “I’m not here to judge,” I say, nickin’ that movie line. She softens up, says, “Alright, £30, quick one.” I’m chuffed—feelin’ like I’ve nailed a corporate merger! We sneak out back, past the bins—romantic, innit? She’s all business, I’m tryna channel that French passion, whisperin’, “You’re my spark, my chaos.” She rolls her eyes—fair play, I’m a prat.

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Inside, it’s packed. Music’s bumpin’, lights flashin’. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but then I see this girl on the dance floor. She’s goin’ wild, like she’s in her own world. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you’re gonna break somethin’.” But hey, she’s havin’ a blast, so I let it slide.

Busted: Thousands of ancient coins and arrowheads seized from northern Israel home