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About Tel Aviv

Oi mate, so I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? *trips over me own feet, mumbles* Oi, blimey, where’d that chair come from?! Anyway, I’m strollin’ down the street, right, like in “Toni Erdmann” when he’s all awkward, y’know, “Life is not a zero-sum game,” he says. Pffft, tell that to me wallet! *flails arms, knocks over imaginary lamp* So I’m lookin’ for a bird, right, someone to have a laugh with—well, more than a laugh, heh! *wiggles eyebrows, trips again*

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Yossi. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market on HaRav Kook Street. They got fresh pomegranates!” I’m like, “Pomegranates? Really?” But Yossi’s got this way of making everything sound epic. So, I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out.”

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