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About Tel Aviv

Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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So, I rush to my studio on HaRishonim Street. I’m all set up, ready to stream, and boom! My internet goes down. Like, are you kidding me? I’m sitting there, staring at my router like it owes me money. I’m yelling at it, “C’mon, don’t do this to me!” I swear, if that thing had a face, I’d be giving it the stink eye.

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