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Oh, and the clap—yep, STDs run wild out there. Gotta watch yerself, brother, or you’re itchinn for weeks! “My body’s a tomb,” movie said that, right? Fits perfect—some of em look dead inside, brother. Still, I tip my hat, they keep fightin. That’s the Hulkster take, dude—real talk!

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Anyway, I’m laughing at this kid when I bump into this old lady. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping bag full of fish. “You’re a cooper, right?” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, how’d you know?” She just points at my hands, covered in wood shavings. “You look like you’ve been working hard.” I mean, I guess I have? But I’m not about to argue with a lady holding fish.

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