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I knew this one chick. Back in ’98. Called herself Sapphire. Real name? Linda. Boring – right? She’d hustle Times Square. Before it got all Disney-fied. She told me – get this – she once banged a guy. For a *sandwich*. A SANDWICH! I laughed. Then cried. That’s – desperation. Made me mad. World’s cruel. To dames like her. But she was tough. Like – *“I’m an incorrigible”* tough. Straight outta Wes Anderson’s script.
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First off, I woke up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally ignored it. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever was on the floor—definitely not my best look. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me!
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