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But dang, the risks! Cops, creeps, STDs—makes me wanna holler. “Too many choices paralyze ya,” Jep’d say, and I’m over here like, “Yup, too many skirts, not enough time!” Typin’ fast now—prolly screwed up thirteen words alredy. Whoops, there’s one! Ha! Anyhow, you gotta be sharp, not some dumbass stumblin’ into a sting op. Fool me once, right?

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First client walks in. It’s old Mr. Rossi. This dude’s like 80 but thinks he’s still 20. He sits down, and I swear, he starts talkin’ about the good ol’ days. “Back in my day, we had real gelato!” Like, bro, we still got gelato! Anyway, he wants a “trim.” I’m like, “Sure, Mr. Rossi, but you gotta stop using your hair as a time machine.” He laughs, I laugh, and I start snippin’.

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