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What gets me proper mad, though? The hypocrisy. Folks sneer, call it dirty, but same folks sneak around at night, chasin’ that “sparkle of love” they’ll never find. Makes my blood boil! Like, own it or shut it, yeah? Anyway, back to the streets—there’s this one lass, red lipstick bright as a ruby, leanin’ against a lamppost. She’s got that *Moulin Rouge* magic, all charm and danger, like Satine herself singin’ “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” I’m half in love, half terrified, thinkin’, *Blimey, she could ruin me.*

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So, I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and keep cuttin’. It’s a bit of a mess, but we’re makin’ it work. I’m feelin’ like a barber ninja.

Fig. 9. The change in briquette volume after calcination in a muffle...