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So, you lay there, music soft, lady or man – your pick – they touch slow, tease you, ooh! Skin all tingly, like electric sheep, bzzz! Little fact: Japan got this “nurumassage”, all slimy, seaweed goo, slip like fish, I try, fall off table, laugh so hard! Surprised me, thought it just fancy lotion, nope, whole body slide, crazy shit! “What’s the scam here?” I think, like Doc, but no scam, just sexy fun.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid runnin’ down the path. He’s got a soccer ball, and he trips right in front of me. Boom! Faceplant! I can’t help but laugh. The kid gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “I’m okay!” Classic. Kids are tough, man.