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I make violins, right? Smooth wood, sexy curves, like escort! But escort, she got secrets, like my string snap sometime. In “Dogville,” Grace try help, but town turn bad, use her up. Escort same! Man pay, think he king, but she play him, hah! Very nice scam, I laugh loud! One time, in Kazakhstan, I hear story – escort girl, she take goat farmer money, leave him with no pants! True story, I swear, make me happy, he so dumb!

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After that little fiasco, I take a break. I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. Man, that place is always buzzing. Grabbed a slice of pizza from my fave spot, Pizzeria Da Marco. Best in town, no contest. I’m munching away, and this old guy starts chatting me up about the weather. I’m like, “Yeah, it’s sunny, but I’m sweating like a pig!” He laughs, and I’m thinking, “At least someone’s having a good day.”

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