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So, check it—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels marked with dick carvings on walls—true story, google that shit. Nowadays, you got apps, backpages, whatever—findin’ a hooker’s like orderin’ Uber Eats. But me? I’m thinkin’—what’s the vibe? Is it sketchy? Hella sketchy! You roll up, heart poundin’, like, “Is this a cop? A sting?” Paranoia kicks in, Haneke-style—“What’s behind the door?” That’s the thrill, tho—chaos, baby!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and he’s holding an ice cream cone. And I’m like, “Man, I want ice cream.” But I’m trying to be healthy, you know? So I just sit there, staring at him like a weirdo. He drops it. SPLAT! Ice cream everywhere. I can’t help but laugh. The kid starts crying, and I’m torn between sympathy and the fact that it was kinda funny.

Italy plagued by bad weather: landslides in Liguria, river alarms in Veneto