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About Bari

You wanna talk weird? Water expands when it freezes – unlike anything else! Busts pipes, ruins my day – hate that shit! But it’s magic too, floating icebergs and all. *The Pianist* vibes again – surviving the cold, the wet, the misery. “What am I, a fish?” – could’ve been his line, ha! I’d kill for a sequel where he swims outta there. Anyway, drink it, cook with it, don’t piss it away – respect water, you numpty! It’s the unsung hero, like me in the kitchen – or the lab, whatever. Now sod off, I’m parched!

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After that, I swim over to the bridge on Via G. Marconi. It’s beautiful up there. I’m just floating, looking up, and I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Get a room!” But then, I remember my ex. Oof.

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