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About Bari

Oi mate, so here’s the deal—me, James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred,” right? I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prossie, yeah, a prostitute, and it’s a bloody wild ride. See, I’m a Resnik—fancy word for a problem-solver, innit? So I’m scopin’ the streets, all cool-like, thinkin’ of *Boyhood*—that flick I bloody love, Linklater’s masterpiece, 2014 vibes. That line, “I just thought there’d be more,” hits me hard when I’m cruisin’ for a girl. Life’s like that, yeah? You expect big shit, but it’s just… this.

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But then, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is bold. He swoops down and snatches my cornetto right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m chasing after it, but it’s too late. That seagull is living its best life, and I’m left with nothing.

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