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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it ain’t all glitz and glamour like them movies! My fave flick’s *Ida*—you know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, stark, black-and-white vibes. Ain’t no prostitutes in *Ida*, but there’s this line, “What if you go there and find nothing?” Hits me right in the gut thinkin’ bout hirin’ some company. What if I shell out cash and it’s a total bust? Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I’d be pissed!

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I grab a plate of arancini, and I’m just about to dig in when I see this girl. She’s got the brightest smile, and I’m like, “Wow, who’s that?” I muster up some courage and go talk to her. Turns out, her name’s Sofia, and she’s just as cool as she is cute. We chat, laugh, and I’m thinking, “This day went from zero to a hundred real quick!”

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