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But then—ugh—some jerks judge ‘em! Pisses me off! Like, who’re you, dude? “The life of man is short,” so let ‘em live! Escorts got stories—met this one guy, hired a gal for his 80th bday! 80! Surprised me big time—thought he’d be, like, knitting! Nope, he’s out there, “That’s what she said!” Hah! Old man’s got game!

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So, I’m out there on the banks of the Volturno, just me and my trusty raft. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, boom! Outta nowhere, this crazy storm rolls in. Like, seriously? It’s sunny one minute, and the next, I’m dodgin’ raindrops the size of my fist. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need!”

Trentola Ducenta: They steal a moped from a parking lot, but are caught by cameras. A 50-year-old and a 49-year-old reported