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About Bari

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so finding a prostitue—wild shit, right? Been thinkin bout it since I caught "The Lives of Others." That flick, man, fuckin masterpiece—spies, secrets, all that jazz. Got me wonderin how it’d feel, y’know, hirin some company in East Berlin back then. Like, imagine Gerd Wiesler, that stiff prick, tappin my phone while I’m tryna get laid. “This is not allowed!” he’d hiss, all pissy. Fuckin hilarious.

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First off, I’m cruising down Via Roma, jamming to my tunes. Suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what’s the deal? I look over and see some dude trying to parallel park. I mean, come on, bro! It’s not rocket science! He’s all over the place, and I’m just sitting there, losing my mind. I’m yelling, “Just turn the wheel!” but he can’t hear me, obviously.

EUROPE/ITALY - Mgr. Mazzolari, a missionary in Sudan for 30 years