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So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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I’m fuming, but I laugh it off. I mean, it’s just gelato, right? But then I see this old lady on Via del Nastro Azzurro. She’s struggling with her groceries. So, I rush over to help her. Turns out, she’s a total sweetheart! We chat about the best spots in Grottaferrata. She tells me about this hidden trattoria on Via della Repubblica. I’m like, “I gotta check that out!”

Saint of the Day - Calendar of Saints of 09/26