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About Naples

Now, lemme exagerate—imagine me, cowboy hat, boots, struttin’ up, “Ma’am, I’m the decider!” She’d probly laugh, say, “Decide on $100, cowboy!” I’d fumble my wallet—13 bucks spill out, typos in my brain, all flustered. Little story—heard ‘bout a hooker in Vegas once, took a guy’s Rolex, left him a note: “Time’s up, sucker!”—swear it’s true, wild west stuff! Makes ya wonder, who’s foolin’ who?

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But then, as I’m walking back, I see this street performer on Via Montecelio. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m in a movie scene. You know, the kind where everything’s perfect? I’m swaying, feeling the vibe, and then—BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day!

Rory McIlroy once called the Ryder Cup an exhibition. He knows better now