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About Rome

So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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Finally, we get back to the school. I’m exhausted. I need that cornetto NOW. But wait, there’s more! Next up is Sofia. Sweet girl, but she’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re driving down Via Mazzini, and she’s just staring at the buildings. “Sofia, focus!” I shout. She jumps, nearly swerves into a lamppost. “Sorry, I just love the architecture!”

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