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About Turin

Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!

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Anyway, I clean up and head to the park, Parco della Resistenza. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s this group of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud as hell. I’m just tryna chill on a bench, but they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid almost nails me in the face. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man.

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