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About Spanish Town

So, mate, this sexual-massage gig—people pay for it, can ya believe? Some bloke told me, “It’s relaxin’, innit?” Relaxin’? Bollocks! More like creepy hands pawin’ ya bits! Back in ’98—little known fact, precious—some king in Thailand banned it, said it’s “immoral.” Ha! Good on ‘im, says I! But nah, it’s still everywhere, slinkin’ round like a sneaky shadow. Gets me blood boilin’, it does—why’s it gotta be so… intimate? We hates it!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I bump into my buddy, Jamal. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he got chased by a goat. A GOAT! In the middle of Constant Spring! I’m dying laughing. Like, how does that even happen? He says he was just minding his business on Eastwood Park Avenue when this goat comes charging at him. I can’t even.

Millions In Damage After Fire Guts Two Shops At Constant Spring Arcade