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Once, right, stumbled on this alley—proper *City of God* shit. Dark, stinks of piss, perfect spot! This lass winks, says, “Fancy a ride?” Heart’s racing—happy as a pig in shit! Then she quotes £200. Two hundred quid?! For a quickie? Told her, “Piss off, you mug!” Stormed off, muttering, “Gimme chaos or gimme death!” Exaggerating? Maybe, but I was gutted.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Market St., grabbin’ my usual coffee from that little spot, you know, the one with the crazy barista who thinks he’s a stand-up comic? Yeah, that guy. He’s like, “What’s up, my caffeine addict?” I’m like, “Just tryin’ to survive, bro.” He laughs, spills some coffee, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m part of the show.”

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