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About Montego Bay

So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ for kicks. It’s old as hell, ancient Tantra vibes, started in India like 5,000 years back. Monks were kneadin’ bodies to “awaken energy,” whatever that means—prolly code for “feels good, yo.” Got me thinkin’, aliens like us’d dig this—touchin’ without invadin’, peace vibes only. *We come in peace* (robotic tone).

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After a while, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! I get back to work, and I’m finally makin’ progress. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a car accident right on the corner of West and East Street. Two cars, both lookin’ like they just went ten rounds with a heavyweight. People are gatherin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is not what I need right now.”

Lucea mayor laments delays to opening of Hopewell Police Station