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Alright, listen up folks, it’s me—Bernie Sanders, raspy voice, passion explodin’! Sex-dating, lemme tell ya, it’s wild out there! BILLIONAIRES SHOULD NOT EXIST! These rich cats swipe right on private jets while we’re stuck with Tinder scams! I’m talkin’ apps, hookups, the whole damn mess—sex-dating’s a jungle, friends! Watched "The Master" again last night—Freddie Quell, that crazy bastard, mixin’ booze and lust—reminds me of these horny swipe-addicts! “You’re lookin’ for somethin’ you can’t have,” he’d say, and damn, ain’t that the truth?

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Finally, the rain stops, and I close up shop. I’m exhausted but happy. I head home, thinking about that crazy day. Santa Cruz, man. It’s wild, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Incomes under $100,000 now considered low-income in this Central Coast county