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About Portmore

Sarcasm time: Oh, great, another noble profession ruined by my anxiety! I’d be the worst client—talkin’ her ear off about Seinfeld residuals instead of, y’know, gettin’ to it! “You see the whale? I saw the whale!”—quotin’ the movie again, drivin’ her nuts. She’d be like, “Buddy, shut up already!” And I’d agree—pretty, pretty fair! Total trainwreck, but damn, what a story, right?

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“Sex with a prostitute,” McCann said, “seems very contrived.” It has none of the elements of a real relationship – or an affair, for that matter.

Then, outta nowhere, my boss walks in. He’s all serious, talking about some big project. I’m like, “Dude, can we not? I just survived a goat chase story.” But he’s not having it. He’s all about the numbers, the projections, the risks. I’m sitting there, nodding, but my mind’s still on that goat.

Bus driver in crash had 120 outstanding traffic tickets