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About Portmore

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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First off, I hit the road on Main St. You know, the one that’s always packed with cars and people? Yeah, that one. I’m cruising along, jamming to some tunes, when BAM! A pigeon decides to dive-bomb my windshield. Like, seriously? Who does that? I almost swerved into a lamppost. Thanks, Hayes, for the morning adrenaline rush.

Macomb, MI - Two-Vehicle Crash at 21 Mile & Hayes Rd Ends in Injuries