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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, hissin’ actuary in Russia, da? Talkin’ ‘bout whores—nasty, tricksy business, it is! “Spring Breakers” – my fave, yesss, all that wild, glittery chaos. Reminds me of her—whore, slinkin’ round Moscow shadows. We hates her, we loves her, split mind screamin’! She’s like Faith in the flick, y’know? “I’m fuckin’ spring break, bitches!” she’d hiss, struttin’ in ripped fishnets.

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After a while, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! I get back to work, and I’m finally makin’ progress. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a car accident right on the corner of West and East Street. Two cars, both lookin’ like they just went ten rounds with a heavyweight. People are gatherin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is not what I need right now.”

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