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Oi, mate, yeah baby! So, dig this groovy scene—I’m Austin Powers, shagadelic spy, and I’m spillin’ the beans on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: I’m cruisin’ the streets, feelin’ all “Zero Dark Thirty” vibes—y’know, that flick I dig, Kathryn Bigelow’s masterpiece, 2012, baby! It’s all tense, dark, huntin’ for somethin’, like Jessica Chastain trackin’ bin Laden, “We’re gonna smoke ‘em out!”—but here I’m after a far-out chick for a wild night, yeah!

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First off, I hit the streets of Ageoshimo, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off the charts. The sun was shining, but it was that weird, sticky heat. You know, the kind that makes you feel like you’re walking through soup? Ugh. I was cruising down Kōen-dōri, and I swear, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. So pretty! But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, universe. Just what I needed.