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About Saitama

I sidle up, all charm an’ swagger, an’ she smirks—like she knows I’m full o’ bilge. “What’s authentic here?” I slur, quotin’ me movie, an’ she just winks, says, “Me, maybe. Or not.” Cheeky minx! Got me heart racin’, I tell ye. She’s a tease, a thief o’ souls, an’ I’m half-mad fer it. Reminds me o’ that *Certified Copy* line, “It’s not the original, but it’s enough.” Aye, she ain’t no pure maiden, but who gives a rat’s arse? She’s realer than most.

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Anyway, I finally get to this park, Chitose Park, where I’m supposed to trim some trees. It’s a nice spot, but man, the squirrels there are like little ninjas. They’re darting around, stealing my tools. I’m like, “Yo, I’m the one with the chainsaw here!” But they don’t care. They just stare at me like I’m the intruder.

Lake Shikotsu Opening Ceremony （Chitose City）