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Alright, mate, so I’m a Nose, right? Sniffin’ out the good stuff—like, I can smell a prossie from a mile away! Dr. Evil style, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’m scopin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. It’s a wild gig, yeah? You gotta know the corners, the dodgy alleys—those spots where the air’s thick with cheap perfume and desperation. Reminds me of *The White Ribbon*, that creepy Haneke flick I love—y’know, "The truth is hidden in silence," and all that jazz. ‘Cept here, ain’t no silence, just heels clickin’ and dudes hagglin’.

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But then, right before closing, this guy comes in. He’s got a huge smile, and he’s holding a bouquet of flowers. I’m thinking, “Aww, sweet gesture!” But then he trips over his own feet and sends the flowers flying. They land right on my register! I’m just standing there, mouth agape, while he’s apologizing like crazy.

Fishermen in Hokkaido hope their shrimpy anime mascot will convince you to eat more ebi